


36 Hours

by nefarious_irusu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Comfort, Depression, Drug Withdrawal, Gen, Medication, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, References to Depression, Short, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 20:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefarious_irusu/pseuds/nefarious_irusu
Summary: I am currently weaning myself off of my anti-depressants, and my withdrawal is terrible. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, and excuse my projection onto Yuri. I don't have the support that I try to give him from Yuuri <3





	36 Hours

"Yuuri."

He glanced up from his phone to where Yuri stood in front of him, visibly shaking as he picked at the hem of his sweatshirt.

"Hey," he murmured, shoving his phone into his pocket. "You okay?"

Yuri shook his head, his cheeks growing pink. "I, uhm… there's too much going on." He gestured around the rink haphazardly.

To Yuuri, the scraping of blades and Yakov shouting had become white noise in his ears. But Yuri seemed distressed, panicked. He nodded and stood abruptly, gently leading Yuri by the shoulder.

"Let's get somewhere quieter, okay?"

He took Yuri out to the empty lobby, motioning towards a bench. "Is this alright, or do you want to sit outside?"

Yuri shrugged, collapsing onto the bench. "This is fine."

"Okay," Yuuri murmured, joining him. He wrapped his arm around Yuri's shoulders and squeezed gently. "Anxiety?" He asked quietly.

Yuri nodded, picking at the knee of his leggings, where a tiny hole had begun forming, most likely from a spill on the ice. 

"Thank you for coming to me." Yuuri moved closer, rubbing between Yuri's shoulder blades. "Do you need to do some breathing exercises with me?"

Yuri shook his head, exhaling shakily. "I don't feel well."

Yuuri ran his tongue over his teeth, the realization dawning on him once the words were spoken. _It wasn't just anxiety_. "When did you take them last?"

"Uh," he widened the hole in his pants with his picking. "About an hour ago, after waiting for 36… I usually take them every 24."

Yuuri frowned. If he was already this worked up after waiting an extra 12 hours to take his medication, it was going to be a long road ahead. He rubbed Yuri's shoulders vigorously, encouraging him, "I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"I feel so sick… this is only the first step. How am I supposed to do this for the next two weeks?" He got rigid under Yuuri's hand, his voice growing more frantic. "And what about when I have to wait 48 hours between doses? And then 72, and then-"

"Breathe, Yuri," Yuuri cut in, before Yuri worked himself up further. "Breathe for me, okay?"

Yuri nodded, holding his head in his hands and sucking in a deep breath. "Do you have a mint, or gum?"

Yuuri reached into his pocket and pulled out a tin of mints, popping one out and holding it out for Yuri. "Are you going to get sick?"

Yuri shook his head as he sucked on the mint, groaning and dropping his head onto Yuuri's shoulder. Yuuri immediately wrapped both arms around the teenager, holding him close. "Weaning off antidepressants is hard, Yuri. I know from experience." He paused when Yuri groaned again, and pet his hair rhythmically.

"You can get through this. If you want to get off these pills, and you feel that you are ready to, the withdrawal will be worth it." 

Yuri buried his face in Yuuri's shoulder, shaking his head. "They didn't tell me when I went on them, that it would suck this bad to get off them."

"I know," Yuuri whispered. "I believe in you, Yuri. It will pass. It will get easier."

"I'm scared."

"I know, sweetie." Yuuri pressed a soft kiss to the top of Yuri's head. "I wish I could make you feel safe. I'll do my best, okay?"

Yuri shrugged. "You do," he whispered, barely audible. And then, louder, "I want to skip ahead a few months, to when it's all out of my system and I feel normal again."

"I wish I had time-travelling skills, so I could let you."

"When you went off yours, did you…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"Did I what? It's okay."

"You know, after the withdrawal stop… did you relapse? With your depression?"

The question weighed on Yuuri's chest; he couldn't lie to Yuri. "Yes, I did." Quickly, he added, "but I talked to my doctor when I did. And to my friends. I used all the coping skills I learned in therapy to help me ride through the waves instead letting them drown me. And I will help you to do the same, if you relapse."

"Promise?" He whispered.

"I promise." He snuck another kiss onto the top of Yuri's head. "I'm going to watch over you through all of this. You aren't alone in this. Viktor is here, too. And Mila, and Yakov. We will all support you through this."

Yuri nodded, remaining quiet for some time. After a while, he shifted on Yuuri's shoulder to get more comfortable. Tugging on Yuuri's sweatshirt sleeve, he whispered,

"Thank you."

"Of course, Yuri."

Yuuri had to strain to hear it, but he was sure he heard Yuri mumble something sounding like, "I love you."

Not caring if it wasn't what he said, Yuuri expressed his own feelings. "I love you, Yuri. You're going to be okay."

**Author's Note:**

> A 2020 update: I never did end up weaning off my medication. After having another few relapses, and getting a new doctor, it was decided that instead of weaning I should switch medications. That went much more smoothly than trying to wean off without a subsequent anti depressant.


End file.
